Transformers Dark of the Moon alternate version
by Krittle-v
Summary: Mock parody to various scenes of Transformers: Dark of the Moon
1. Scene 1: Sentinel is revived

**Transformers: Dark of the Moon the alternate version**

**By: Krittlev**

...

_Yes I am back! For anyone who has me on author alerts, long time no fanfic. I am sorry for not updating any of my existing stories, call it taking a break to enlighten myself into better writing, rather than scribbling down disappointments._

_So here is something to kick me off again into the written word! It's TF3 parodied! _

...

**Scene: Sentinel is revived **

And so Optimus Prime grasped the legendary Matrix of Leadership in his hand; his revered leader Sentinel Prime's lifeless metal body laid out before him. Optimus twitched, feeling a twinge of discomfort seeing Sentinel so... fragile; the Prime he looked up to as a role model to be worthy of the name he now bore.

Samuel looked on at Optimus with awe. Looking around the room, all the Autobots towered over him, a constant reminder that one wrong step and he'd squash like a bug on a windshield. Had they all grown taller since last time he saw them?

Ratchet took a solemn intake of air, not like his ventilation system required it, but the moment felt right. "The matrix of leadership, the only known device that can revive a spark." Sam rolled his eyes, Ratchet was always inclined to narrate at the most redundant moments.

Bracing himself for what could be the a great disappointment, or a celebrated return, Optimus Prime plunged the shining blue device deep into Sentinel's chest. With a wave of energy blasting throughout his systems, Sentinel's optics shot open and he was returned violently to land of the living.

Confused, dazed and unsure of where he was Sentinel Prime resorted to the only sensible course of action his impulses commanded, he attacked the closest being in his proximity. Optimus Prime, careful not to draw his weapons on a befuddled comrade attempted to calm his former leader, "Sentinel, it is ok. You are among friends."

Sentinel Prime composed himself, scanning his surroundings. He accepted Optimus' words realising everyone around him, organic and robotic, were not asserting aggressive tendencies. In a moment of clarity, Sentinel recalled his last thoughts before awakening in this unknown place.

"The war, the war!" the mature Autobot bellowed.

"Lost." Optimus replied, solemnly

"The pillars, where are the pillars...?"

National Intelligence Director Mearing grimaced. Something about this Autobot didn't seem right. It didn't take her mind long to discover what was bothering her and interrupted the Autobots conversation.

"Whoa whoa hey, new guy. Sentinel is it?" she yelled out from the lower standing point of the walkway. Would it kill the engineers to construct them a little higher?

"You dare address me in such a fashion?" Sentinel grinded through his metal teeth towering over the small human.

"Yeah intimidating." Mearing remarked brushing off the large robot's daunting presence, "Question for you, how is it that you have been offline for countless millennia yet you communicate in perfect English?"

Sentinel frowned, "Silence! This film only goes for two and a half hours. We don't have time to explain every little detail. We need hurry along and get to the explosions. You want details? Read the novelisation."

Mearing crossed her arms in a huff, "There is a book to address the plot holes in this movie? Seriously? Here is an idea... how about we review the script before turning it into a movie so there are no plot holes!"

Beside her Mearing's assistant suddenly became nervous at her superior's outburst.

"Boss?" the timid P.A. murmured.

"What?"

"You sure that's wise? Speaking out like this. I mean... Megan Fox?"

Mearing's tongue staggered as she contemplated her assistant's words. Rubbing the back of her neck she quavered, "I withdraw my last statement. Continue."


	2. Scene 2: The Invasion of Chicago

**Scene 2: The Invasion of Chicago **

The Decepticon army converged their forces on the human city designated as Chicago. The perfect location with ample high-rise buildings to shield their forces from human resistants.

The Decepticon war ships swept through the city, no mercy shown to the human inhabitants. A sea of weapon fire engulfed the streets disintegrating any human who attempted to flee. Masses of people being instantly turned into dust upon impact of the blasts.

Through the chaos and death, persistent words were being repeatedly screamed, "OH MY GOD! It's war of the worlds! It's war of the worlds!"

One man heard the screams around him and jumped on a nearby sedan and beseeched those around him, "Quickly, everyone! Sneeze on the aliens! Their immune systems can't handle our diseases."

In an adjacent street, Barricade heard the human's words and descended upon his position in a flash. Taking up his gun he fired transforming the human perched on the car into dust.

Barricade smirked, "That's a movie idiotic flesh bag! Do we look like we have organic parts to infect? Dammit humans are so stupid, I cannot wait to exterminate you all!"


	3. Scene 3: The Autobots are Betrayed

**Scene 3: The Autobots are Betrayed**

Sentinel Prime turned the final corner into the Autobot's Chicago military base disguised as a run down government warehouse. With Optimus off base and the Autobot soldiers distracted by the Decepticon assailants, he knew this was as good of time as any to reveal his secret agenda.

Transforming into his robot mode and ensuring that the only Autobot threat in his vicinity were Ironhide and Bumblebee, he took position behind the most capable fighter and revealed, "What you must realise, my Autobot brothers, is we were never going to win the war! For the sake of our planet's survival, a deal had to be made with Megatron!"

Before Ironhide had a chance to react to Sentinel's words, the Prime had his cosmic rust gun armed and aimed straight at the Autobot's chest. A single shot blasted through Ironhide's torso, his metallic body instantly disintegrating into metallic fibres, no hope of survival.

Ironhide whispered in agony his dying words, "What have you done?"

Bumblebee gasped at the event that transpired before him. His thoughts screaming the horrible realisation of what had just occurred: _Sentinel Prime is with the Decepticons! Sentinel Prime has a Zat gun! Sentinel Prime killed Ironhide! ... And I'm next! _Bumblebee's final thought being confirmed as Sentinel Prime turned his gun on the yellow robot and began shooting blasts his way.

_Well F**K this! _Bumblebee's thought processors wailed, his vocals crackling with the inability to speak. _I'm too young and pretty to die! _With a dive to survive Bumblebee dodged Sentinel's incoming fire and somersaulted backwards over the nearby railings into the Chicago river leaving his human allies to Sentinel's wrath.

_**Author's note:**_

Reference: The 'Zat gun' is the gun from stargate.


	4. Scene 4: Optimus is Pissed Off

**Scene 4: Optimus is Pissed Off**

National Intelligence Director Charlotte Mearing hurried along the concrete floors of the Autobot base, her minion assistants scurrying behind her. The faster she walked, the sooner she could remove her formal high heels and slip into the comfort of her white sneakers. Oversized alien robots could care less if she added an extra 6 inches to her height.

It was early in the morning when Director Mearing received the call that the leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime, had requested her presence. The term request being used loosely.

Making her way through the hanger she could see Optimus Prime at the end of the large room, surprisingly though, he was still in vehicle mode. That was strange.

Seeing Director Mearing approaching his leader, Que, the Autobot scientist, decided to give the humans the heads up, " Ah, good you're here. My names Que. I do hope you have answers for him, i've never seen him so upset!"

"Optimus, you remember Charlotte Mearing, our director of National Intelligence?" Major Lennox announced as Director Mearing and her team arrived. The room felt heavy with tension as a group of red, black, yellow and silver alien robots stood around a silent red and blue peterbilt truck.

Dino, an Autobot scout, took the opportunity of the silence to state the obvious, " He's in a bad mood. He's not talking to anybody today. "

"What is this, the silent treatment?" Mearing asked cynically.

Still no response from Optimus Prime.

Ironhide took the stage, "He's pissed off."

Mearing huffed, " Oh of course he is pissed. I can clearly tell from the emotions." Director Mearing directed her eyes at the grill of the peterbilt, "Is it that time of the month Optimus?"

"Like you would know," Optimus sneered, "I sense more testosterone in your bloodsteam than Major Lennox here."

Mearing's mouth gapped, "Do you always address your alien allies like that?"

"Only the ones I can step on."

Ironhide smirked, "That is what we Autobots call a burn on you!"

...

_I hope everyone is enjoying the parody so far. I am constantly thinking of different ways to mock (playfully) one of my favourite movies, so please, if anyone has an idea of a spin I could take please let me know by private message. I will always mention credit to others if they give me a good parody idea._

_As always reviewing is love. And I promise many more laughs to come._


	5. Scene 5: Meanwhile in Africa

**Scene 5: Meanwhile in Africa...**

_This chapter is inspired by the idea of ObsydianDreamer. Thank you for the great idea... and here is my explanation! _

_..._

"Sand... f*****n sand everywhere! In my joints, in my gears.. in my optics! ARGH!"

The scream of the Decepticon echoed across the baron lands of Africa. Needless to say, Starscream had made base in better places. He was only a few clicks from the main hiding place Megatron had established in the middle of nowhere. He thought it best to release his frustrations out of sight of their so called _leader _before returning to base.

Transforming into his alternate mode, Starscream's jet engines fired up as he shot across the sky back to base.

_..._

Not too far across the landscape Megatron clung to his new fabric accessory. Sure it was piss-stained, but it was a fashion statement. Megatron was always the first to start new trends, and "d_erelicte__" __was the new metallic silver. _

Even Megatron would agree, he'd looked better. Stumbling slowly like a human zombie, half his face missing, his body littered with gaping holes and untendered wounds, Megatron really needed a vacation. But nothing could ever injure his ego. In a sudden outburst of volume he bellowed, "All Hail Megatron!" The words scaring nearby earth animals.

Returning to base Megatron was greeted with the arrival of Soundwave and Starscream. Starscream being Starscream was always full of compliments.

"My Lord, it pains me to see you so... weak." Starscream uttered, his tone obvious with devious satisfaction.

"Oh shut up Starscream!" Megatron hissed, the little hatchlings at the Decepticon leaders' feet scurrying about at the hope of being fed.

"My Lord." Soundwave interrupted. "I'm here to report that the Autobots have successfully taken the bait."

"Good." Megatron grinned.

Soundwave hesitated, first inclination was to request orders on their next course of action, but something else was troubling him that he couldn't let go.

"Also Lord Megatron," Soundwave began, the eyes of Megatron and Starscream instantly being diverted in waiting to his next words, "the Autobots will soon be travelling to the moon. We will need to mobilise back to the human continent of North America to ensure we are positioned and ready when the time comes."

Megatron huffed, "I am aware of that Soundwave."

"Ok..." Soundwave stuttered, but he couldn't hold back the niggling question in his processors, "How exactly are we going to transport you across the ocean?"

Megatron rolled his optics, "The same way I got here!"

And there it was. The opportunity after years of wondering not wanting to ask in the instance Megatron's short temper would result in some violent backlash. Soundwave posed with intense curiosity, "And how exactly did you get here? After your..." Soundwave wavered noticing Megatron's face grow distasteful to where Soundwave's words were heading.

Soundwave coughed redirecting his statement, "... After your intense battle with the Autobots, in your state you could not transform into the intricate flight modes necessary to travel across the waters. How then did you transport yourself here?"

Megatron growled and pointed outwards to Starscream who was standing behind Soundwave to his flank. During the questioning, Soundwave didn't even notice that Starscream had become ineptly uncomfortable.

"Starscream?" Soundwave uttered.

"Yes Soundwave!" Starscream hissed.

Soundwave couldn't help but choke a snicker. "Did you... piggyback Megatron?"

A roar of laugher spread across the hatchlings, some even rolling around the sandy grounds in a fit.


End file.
